Finding a Mentor- the most important life hack

Finding a mentor is so important at all phases of life. This isn’t just for people looking to find the right career path or seeking guidance and advice on how to achieve it. I believe that mentors are very important for people of all ages. There’s a great book called The Proximity Principle that talks about this. I do recommend downloading the audiobook and putting in some headphones while you walk to hear author Ken Coleman’s guidance on this topic.

Teenagers 

Teenagers 1000% need a mentor. Someone that they can look up to who is just a bit older than them. A freshman in high school can have a mentor who’s a junior or senior. Those years are so critical in finding who to hang out with, and if you have someone helping guide you who is similar in age, but has been through what you’re just about to go through. It is crucial. Teenagers don't want to hear from their parents. I’m pretty sure we all know that. I know they are listening; however not sure how much is totally sinking in or how much they believe that we even know what is going on in high school. After all, it was so, so long ago since we were there in their eyes. Plus, they don't even know that we really were cool back then. Having your teenager find a mentor that can guide them not only academically, but also socially, and when it comes to their sport. I think that’s so important, especially in sports, to have teams like varsity and junior varsity commingle, as the younger girls want to fill those positions in just a few years and need guidance on how to get there.

Socially, having a peer that is a few years older than you in high school but can mentor you as far as the right people to hang out with, how to balance your time, how to be social without being in the bad circle, and the list goes on and on. Again, as parents might know how we want to guide our kids, but let’s be honest, they don’t want to hear it from us.

Young moms 

When you’re a young mom, it is so hard to figure out the balance in life. Especially once you have more than one, it’s just like that adage that you’re drowning and someone handed you a baby. When you have a mentor and someone in your life who can just give you guidance on easy hacks or ways to manage it all, it just makes life more doable. Do not turn to Instagram or TikTok, or any other social platform for this guidance. Sure, there are really easy life hacks on how to be efficient with your time or get more done each day, but having a actual mentor in your life gives you that check-in and that human connection that is very crucial. You are not accountable to social media.

Adult life 

It is also critical to have a mentor even when you’re through those young kids at home years and are getting ready for that next chapter. Have that person that you can lean on that has been there, who can again help guide you down this road and keep you motivated to do more than just take it easy, as that hard phase has finished. Your life has all these different chapters, and making sure that you’re moving forward is what life‘s about. Having someone in your life that you are accountable to keeps you motivated and moving forward. This could be in the area of fitness. Have that friend who’s more fit than you, keeping you on track so that you can be like her. Find that person who does so many things and accomplishes so much to help guide you and show you how to make the most out of your life. Having a mentor keeps that accountability going at all the phases.

I am a true believer to always be working towards something. Just because you finished one chapter doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start the next. Life is about evolving and growing better as a person. Having someone in your life to help get you there is crucial. Don’t be afraid to ask that person you look up to how they did it. It is a compliment to them that you are so impressed that you want to be like them. Whenever I have complimented someone and ask them how they did it, they’re more than happy to share. This isn’t like a recipe that a woman doesn’t want to share. This is a compliment that you want to be like them, and trust me, they can help you get there, but you have to take the first step to ask.

You don’t always get what you want

Similar to that famous song, you don’t always get what you want. That includes that you don’t always get the feedback that you want. A mentor isn’t someone to just give you praise. A mentor is someone whom you look up to, and if they see that you are on the wrong path, I hope they call you out on it. That is the point! We’re not looking for a cheerleader. We’re looking for someone to help us take our lives on the right path, and if we need some correction, a good mentor will give us that. Do not get defensive; that bad feedback could be the best thing you ever receive. That bad feedback could be just what you need to make your ordinary life extraordinary. It could take the path that you don’t see and give you little corrections to being on the path that will blow your expectations.

When you don’t have someone to be accountable to, it’s really easy to let the day go by and have you not reach that goal. You can just think "Oh well, tomorrow’s another day." Well, yes, tomorrow will come, so will the next day and the next day and the next day. Have a game plan as to where you want those next days to take you, and if you have a mentor, you have much greater odds that that dream will become a reality. Make your goals known; otherwise, you will feel dumb for not keeping them. I might’ve been there, and I do know that.

Xo, 

Mama